Monday, March 29, 2004

Readers have the final say, and Greta and I are on our way

My partner, Greta, and I were excited last July when we booked airplane reservations to go to Spain during her spring break from teaching this April.

We would primarily travel through Spain by train.

Accommodations were booked and transportation paid for.

Each year, we try to plan a vacation together. We feel getting away is good for our relationship, rekindles the flame and gives us time to focus on each other while away  from the day-to-day demands of working full time.

As the countdown to Friday approached, our excitement grew. Greta said it was going to be a fantastic, romantic trip, and I liked the sound of that.

When 10 terrorists' bombs ripped through three Madrid train stations, including Atocha, from which we were traveling, we overreacted. We asked Rail Europe to refund our money and  canceled our hotel accommodations. For some reason, I kept our airplane reservations. We agonized over our decision. We knew there were more important things in life to worry about, but we were disappointed. A substitute destination didn't feel right. Most were booked anyway.

I asked readers of my weekly newsletter for their opinions: Should we rethink our decision and go to Spain as originally planned?

More than 250 responded. I was impressed at the depth and wisdom of their e-mails. "Go for it!" e-mailed Lynda Thompson, a former Huntington Beach resident living in Heidelberg, Germany.

"I take public transportation all the time here, trains and buses. I decided not to let threats keep me from living my life, but also I stay alert and aware of my surroundings."

A former DePauw University classmate, Ann Getzoff, who winters in Chacala, Mexico, wrote: "I would go in a NY minute. Lightning rarely strikes in the same place twice." Victoria  Maker of Mission Viejo said, "Go. It's probably safer in Spain than in the U.S. Enjoy each  other and the adventure of your romantic trip."

And from London, England, Audrey Goldberg e-mailed, "There's something about love abroad. It's a great getaway and both of you will love it.

"If you see a lot of guys with ear things, go the opposite way. Helicopters overhead are a  sign of trouble. Can't let the jerks spoil our fun."

"Spain is safe right now. Do not give in to fear," said Janet Mariani of Dallas.

Donna in Long Beach said, "As a European, I say go for it. The terrorists will keep a low profile in Spain."

From Tallahassee, Fla., Belinda e-mailed, "Life is full of calculated risks; we take them every day, so why not take a risk on something you will find so personally rewarding?"

Chaffey College system administrator Isabel Bogue of Rancho Cucamonga said: "We are not guaranteed our time on this small planet; how we choose to spend that time, however, is certainly our choice.

"Continue with your travel plans. Viva Espana!"

Newport Beach resident Barbara Barnes wrote, "Go to Spain. You wanted a romantic trip. Romance is always heightened with a sense of danger."

About 20 percent of the people responding said don't go. They had a variety of reasons, some political.

Marge Ball of Mission Viejo, who runs Marge's Tours - (949) 830-7791, mjball@ cox.net - took the initiative to come to my Dana Point deli with her mother (also Marge) armed with  maps and brochures of Spain's Costa del Sol. That was like having a travel agent making a house call. Both have traveled extensively in Spain. I received such valuable information                     that I booked accommodations in Granada and Nerja for five nights.

My biggest concern was not wanting to trouble Fran, my 93-year-old mom, in Santa Rosa.  So the blessing that mattered the most came from her: "We have little control over when our time on Earth is up. Please be careful and I'll try not to worry too much." This Friday, Greta and I are flying to Spain for a long-planned romantic vacation.

Reader Comments

Cindy Avery, Smithtown, N.Y.: "I just read your book, 'Middle Aged and Dating Again.'  I'm still laughing my fanny off over some of your stories. Thanks for a good read on a day with no patients and too much snow to want to go out." Response: Living those  experiences was equally as funny.

Don Hull, Santa Ana: "O.C. singles should consider joining a car club. Great place to have fun and meet people. Lots of men." Hull is the president of Packards International  Motor Car Club (www.packards- today.com).

For a list of clubs, personal ads and activities for O.C. singles or to sign up for my free weekly community newspaper column, visit www.findingloveafter50.com.