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Time is too precious for single men and
single women to verbally rip each other
apart.
Over the last few weeks, I've written columns
where older single women bashed single men
and columns where men bashed women.
Each gender made legitimate arguments.
I could dwell on that civil war
forever--there's that much material.
But what would be accomplished?
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Meeting singles is hard enough
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At our age, meeting available singles
is hard enough, Bashing makes it even
more difficult. Instead, let's focus on
the positive aspects of dating and
the opposite sex.
Regardless of what happened to us-
our spouse ran away or passed away,
a lover did us dirt or life has treated
us poorly-we're still fortunate to be
alive and living in this country. We need
to make the best with what we now have.
Robin Betts of Anaheim e-mailed,
"We women are willing to over look
flaws in a man and spend time getting
to know him." Good start Robin. Your
comment will open doors.
Victoria Jeffers, Mission Viejo,
wrote, "It's always easier for
people to blame others for what's
wrong in their lives. If people would just
let go of so many expectations and allow
others to just BE, we would get along
better. We need to have fun and get beyond the rigid
rules some people are stuck in."
If you meet a man who only wants younger,
thin or blonde women, simply move on.
Don't waste your time arguing with him or
even listening to him, your time is too precious.
The same goes for men. If a man meets a woman
who insists he be making at least a hundred grand,
or drive fancy cars, or live in a big home,
he shouldn't waste his time.
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Gifted violinist played well
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Shirley Budhos, New York City, e-mailed,
"I attended a Carnegie Hall concert where
an exciting, gifted violinist played a difficult
selection. During intermission, a man
said, 'She may not be much to look at but she played
well.'
He was a 'not-much-to-look-at guy," wrote
Shirley. Not only did he lack tact, he
was also shallow. Shirley got as far away
from him as her theatre seats would allow.
Author Anne Lamott, whose books I admire, was quoted
in an e-mail my sister recently forwarded,
"Eleven years ago, when my friend Pammy
was dying at the age of 37, we went shopping
at Macy's. She was in a wheelchair, with
a wig and three weeks to live.
"I tried on a short dress and came out to model it
for Pammy. I asked is she thought it made me look
big in the thighs, and she said, so kindly, 'Annie?
You just don't have that kind of time.' I live
by this story."
Pammy certainly understood the preciousness
of time, and we singles should also.
Leena Huang, Saline, Mi., wrote, "Despite
being single, I try to be happy, healthy and
productive. I go with my own instincts.
I'll be ok."
Like Leena, with or without a partner,
we'll be okay. Bashing members of
the opposite sex accomplishes little and
wastes what is impossible to save,
our precious time.
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Reader Comments
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Eileen Ganong, San Clemente, " There's a reason many women
have an air of self-sufficiency and non-interest. They're
self sufficient and not interested. This is 2004, not 1957.
Response: Okay, I'll include one more little "bash."
Cheryl Lange, Tampa, Fla., "I don't need a house, car
or financial gain, just someone I can respect and care
about. My boss says my goal is too high."
Response: That's a reasonable goal, accept nothing
short of that.
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