Finding Love After 50

Finding love after 50. Author and columnist Tom Blake's dating information and advice for widowers, widows, divorced men, divorced women, middle-aged singles and senior singles who are dating again and hope to meet a mate.



Senior Sex and Safe Sex
by Tom Blake

Senior Sex - Middle-age Sex - Safe Sex

Last week, the "Washington Post" ran
an article written by Michelle Nicolosi
entitled "Never Too Old." The information
in Michelle's article got my attention,
and by the end of this column, it'll likely
have yours, particularly if you're single
and sexually active.

Michelle's topic: Sex, and the dangers
of contacting HIV for 50-plus singles.

My intention isn't to ruin your sexual
enjoyment, but to remind you that the
possibility of contacting AIDS should be
a concern for older singles.

Michelle pointed out that according to
the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention (CDC), in 1999, 13.4 percent
of new AIDS cases diagnosed were in people
age 50 and older.

One of my readers, a woman who will
remain anonymous for obvious reasons, got
HPV (genital warts) from her husband. She
found out that he had had multiple affairs while
they were married. "Not as bad as AIDS--but"
she says, so highly contagious she's afraid to
even shake hands with anybody.

"If you can get it from your husband, you
sure can get it from a casual lover," she

Michelle mentioned that with Viagra,
and with women no longer fearing pregnancy,
many 50-plus singles don't worry about safe
sex. There's a feeling of being above the

A column reader sent me a book
he published. I was shocked to read
that he feels the risk for people 50-plus
for getting AIDS through heterosexual contact
is so statistically insignificant that older
singles shouldn't be concerned about it.

But Michelle said, "A 1996 CDC breakdown
-the most recent available - of AIDS cases in
individuals 50 or older showed cases transmitted
heterosexually increased 94 percent in men and
106 percent in women."

True, the reported number is small-1,400 in
1996- but Michelle points out that seniors are
less likely to get tested, so the true number,
could be much larger. I enjoy sex as much as
anyone my age, but I wouldn't want to
to risk being one of those "insignificant

The CDC reports that as of December, 2000,
774,467 AIDS cases have been reported in
the United States.

HIV risk factors include having more than
one sexual partner in 12 months, and not following safe
sex practices (using a latex condom). By the way,
other STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), aren't
a hell of a lot more pleasant than AIDS.

Can you imagine this scenario? You and your
date have the old chemistry thing going. You can't
wait to get after each other. Neither has had sex
with anybody except a spouse for the last
30 years. You make beautiful love. The best you've
ever experienced.

Later, during casual conversation, your
partner mentions that he or she had a blood
transfusion between the years 1979 and 1985.
You just made love to someone who the CDC
says is at risk for HIV.

I'm not an expert on the dangers of sex. This column
barely skims the surface. For more detailed information,
call The STD/AIDS telephone hot line at (800) 342-2437,
or click here to learn of risk factors and dangers: CDC Website

Sorry guys if you're mad at me for spoiling your
week-end plans. If your date reads today's column,
you may be headed for the testing clinic instead
of the bedroom. Better safe than sorry.

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